SELF HATING (Indian Americans). Loving HINDU TEMPLES. AUNTIES & UNCLE GUTS.
All my life I’ve been made fun of for being Hindu, loving puja (ritualistic prayer), and attending Hindu Temples and it’s friggin’ annoying! The hate mostly comes from Indian/Indian American Hindu communities (not anyone else because most folks are MASSIVELY confused as to what Hinduism ACTUALLY is)
Hinduism is the oldest faith tradition/religion IN THE WORLD with no historical founder, diverse belief systems, numerous cultures, and ways of thinking, is the MOST INCLUSIVE faith of ALL giving acknowledgment and respect to ALL RELIGIONS, no conversion (all creation has the right to see the divine they way they want to) equal rights to women, marginalized communities, LGBTQI+, and sees the divine in all living creatures including nature and animal life.
Hinduism is free of judgment and accepts all as stated by: Vasudhaiva Kutumbakam (Sanskrit language) “The world is one family!” “Ekam Sat”, “All is one, paths are many, all faiths are one, lead to same divine” Ohm Loka Samastah Sukhino Bhavantu “May all beings everywhere be happy/free, may the thoughts, words, actions of my own life contribute in some way to that happiness and freedom for all”
If Hinduism is such a DOPE OPENMINDED INCLUSIVE faith……then…
WHY DO SO MANY INDIAN AMERICANS GROW UP WITH SELF-HATRED, MAKING FUN OF HINDU RITUALS / PRACTICES, DEITIES, INDIAN ACCENTS, FOOD, DRESS ETC. & CONFUSE BEING “INDIAN” (WHICH IS A NATIONALITY/RACE) WITH BEING A HINDU (A FAITH THAT ANY PERSON OF ANY NATIONALITY/RACE CAN PRACTICE) ???
Growing up in California as the child of Indian Immigrants, my parents were always involved in the Shiva Vishnu Hindu Temple in Livermore. My father was one of the founders/builders and my mother always sang there and at various temples across the USA (She’s a Carnatic (Classical Indian Music) vocalist) and trained me in both Carnatic and Hindustani music.
I was fascinated with the Temple, puja (ritualistic practices), Indian Classical Music and Dance (all of whose roots stem from worship), and found solace and peace sitting in front of the deities at the Temple. Some of these deities even stayed in our puja (prayer) room at home growing up before the Temple was consecrated and the deities were moved back. I used to have tea parties, dress them up, love them, they were my best friends (remember I’m a 3 - 5 yr old kid)
I used to cut high school (I was that weird emo punk rock artistic skater chick who thought the world was against her LOL) and go sit at the Fremont Temple during lunch. I’ve felt a pretty powerful calling and connection to the divine since I was a child. Maybe it was all the beautiful fashions the deities wore, (naturally this made me want to attend Parsons School of Design and study fashion LOL the most UNINDIAN AMERICAN like thing to do) or incredible music that filled the temple, or the gorgeous carvings inside and around the temple walls, I’ve always loved and felt proud of attending Hindu Temples. I’ve seen most of the major ones in the USA and a variety of them all across India.
Unfortunately, a lot of Indian Americans/Indian Communities in the US, etc. don’t feel the way I do. I’ve had a lot of aunties say hurtful things to me including “All you do is clutch God, you only worship celibate deities like Ganesha or Hanuman, how are you ever going to get married? All you do is attend/perform puja how are you going to get married?” and other stupid shit.
It seems to me that Indian folks want a “wedding”, not a “marriage” which are two vastly different things! Plus the obsession with arranged marriages I will never understand, NOT ONE OF OUR HINDU DEITIES had an arranged marriage! Goddess Parvati won Lord Shiva, Goddess Mahalakshmi chose Lord Vishnu, Ganesha never wanted to get married, Lord Muruga loved Vali and numerous other references! AND my parents DID NOT have an arranged marriage they met and married in California.
Indian Americans (meaning those whose parents are from India and who were born and raised in the USA) made fun of Hindu priests and their chanting, Indian accents, hated that we worship an elephant-headed deity named Ganesha, have dark skin, many come from vegetarian families (and don’t understand why they can’t shove big macs in their faces like their American counterparts, were constantly called “Idol worshippers” (which HINDUS ARE SOOOOOO NOT) and a majority of them had to be dragged kicking and screaming to the Temple. They grew up with a self-hating attitude towards Hinduism. Even today you rarely see Indian Americans enthusiastically attending the temple regularly but mostly folks from India or the older generation. HATRED, DISCRIMINATION, RACISM, PHOBIAS, etc. stem from IGNORANCE!
I never understood why until my adult years. Many Hindu Americans are children of immigrant parents. Immigrants to the United States focused on making money, getting good jobs, saving money to send their kids to good colleges, and encouraging their children to become doctors, lawyers, finance people, and engineers (GUARANTEED money-making professions, someone is always going to throw up someone is always going to give birth a doctor will ALWAYS HAVE A JOB lol) basically making sure that their children will have better lives than them! It’s a very nice way of thinking I get it, but spirituality gets lost and takes a backseat.
Often you hear “Pray to Lakshmi to get money, Pray to Saraswati to pass your exams, Pray to Shiva for a good husband, Pray to Ganesha for good luck, etc.” UMMMM God is not “transactional” and when you hear things like this it turns one off to religious practice, I totally get it.
Hindu priests in Hindu Temples in the USA generally do not speak English very well and it is hard for them to explain the rituals. Indian parents don’t explain the religious significance behind rituals and dismiss questions saying “Oh that’s just how it’s always been done”
This leads to a lot of Indian Americans being turned off by the Hindu religion and not taking it seriously. They tend to think that being brown, being a doctor, celebrating, and getting shitfaced on Diwali make one a Hindu, etc. They see Hinduism as a big ol’ party in the sky with beautiful Gods and Goddesses and not an actual faith or religion like Christianity, Judaism, or Islam. To each, their own I ain’t judging but there is so much more to the Hindu faith.
I am the Hindu Spiritual Advisor / Chaplain of both NYU and Columbia Universities. The older I get the more I appreciate and love my Hindu faith, its principles, traditions, and cultures. I try and educate the next generation of Indian Americans about Hinduism as well as those who know nothing about what Hinduism is. Every single ritual, music played, decoration, flower garland, song sung, instrument played, statue, carvings, placement of objects, architecture, the way a murthi or deity looks at a Hindu Temple has a beautiful spiritual significance and deep meaning behind it! I wish these topics were discussed more in the community and in the media!
Hinduism is NOT something that can be taught through books/lectures, it’s something that HAS TO BE EXPERIENCED! I’ve had so many non-Hindu friends come to Hindu Temple with me or partake in puja and have felt a deep and personal connection with their chosen deity whether it was Lord Ganesha, Lord Shiva, or Goddess Kamakshi for example.
This year I had a chance to attend and witness the MAHÃ KUMBHÃBHISHEKAM the re-consecration ceremony of the Flushing Ganesha Temple, temple grounds/murtis or deities (the first Hindu Temple built in the USA, my father was involved in building it (many years before he got married and had me) http://nyganeshtemple.org/ It was one of the most BEAUTIFUL INCREDIBLE experiences of my life! It also fell during Ganesha Chaturthi or Lord Ganesha’s birthday my favorite day of the year and holiday!
A traditional South Indian Temple is built according to the Ãgama šãstra, which is the source text for the general frame work of religious and philosophical aspects of temple structure. A Hindu Temple is a living breathing manifestation of the divine in my opinion. When you walk into Flushing Temple you instantly feel happy and at peace.
My heart was soaring with happiness as I heard the Temple musicians play, Guru Anna (nadhaswaram) & Lakshman Anna (tavil) came all the way from Chennai, Tamil Nadu India to play for this special occasion. Every ritual and prayer the priests performed were incredible and so interesting! Women played a very important role - they started all the rituals of the day! The media portrays Indian society as backward and patriarchial when in reality it’s women who lead in the Hindu faith!
A priest from Madurai India explained in English the importance of creativity, creatives, artists, musicians, and sculptors in Hinduism, and how they are essential to building a Temple and keeping the faith alive! Indian “society” looks down on creatives and tells us to “get a real job” like being a doctor when HINDU FAITH exalts creatives!!
I had a blast celebrating Ganesha Chaturti with my brother but then seeing all the sanctum doors shut & Lord Ganesha covered brought up so many emotions! I understand that all the essences/energies of the divine are transferred into sacred Kalasams (pots) & kept for worship outside the temple, but seeing my beloved deities’ sanctum doors shut BROKE MY HEART. It was an emotional roller coaster for me!
These high flown rituals over 30 priests from across the globe including Sridar Uncle from Shiva Vishnu Temple in Livermore whom I’ve known my whole life, (so nice he was there) were in NYC participating in this grand event meant for the benefit of all mankind.
It’s beautiful but since it’s my first time experiencing these kinds of rituals it was mind-boggling and HEARTBREAKING when especially Lord Ganesha’s sanctum was SHUT, he was the last sanctum to be closed (it felt like someone had punched me in the gut and ripped my heart out)
Thank you to my brother who took me out that weekend when Ganesha was SHUT to distract me (I took a million stupid selfies) and I dragged him around shopping for couture (I was “designing” him up) till he was ready to kill me hahaha…
I love my brothers G and W so much, both are Latino, not born Hindus, raised Catholic, but feel a deep connection to the Temple and Hinduism. Hinduism is a faith that belongs to ALL CREATION. It doesn’t matter what faith you were born into, your race, gender, sexual orientation, etc.
AUNTIES & UNCLE GUTS - Often I wonder why are there a million Social Media accounts TRASHING Indian Aunties & Uncles and painting them ALL as judgemental jerks. Sure there are jerks in every culture, but at the Temple, I have met so many open-hearted, open-minded, loving aunties who love the fact that I am American, half their age, and obsessed with the Temple (yet when I explain to them what I do for a living, it blows their minds.
Example :
Auntie - Sangeetha I’ve seen you here for years, you’re a doctor right?
Me - No Auntie I’m a Design Director & Artist
Auntie - EH? What is that?
Me - I work in Beauty, Fashion, and Luxury Sectors
Auntie - EH? What?
Me - I’m also the Hindu Chaplain/Spiritual Advisor of NYU/Columbia Universities
Auntie - Eh? What’s a Chaplain?
Me- I’m also an Islamic/Arabic Calligrapher, run my own brand IhsanIshan which was initially started to bring peace/understanding between Hindus & Muslims
Auntie - Eh? But Hindus and Muslims we are the same!! What is the difference?
(I LOVE SOUTH INDIAN AUNTIES! Honestly, most South Indian people have NO HATRED TOWARDS ANY FAITH, unlike the shitty media who always spews Negativity and focuses on North India - true there are tensions, folks still suffer from generational trauma brought on by partition up North, but blame colonizers, not each other!)
Me - I also teach children art in the Bronx
Auntie - UM… DO YOU MAKE ANY MONEY????????
Me - Hahaha LOL, I love you, Auntie, through Lord Ganesha’s grace I’m fine, don’t worry!
UNCLE GUTS - Most of the Western world is SHOCKED that South Indian Hindu Priests don’t wear shirts and find it strange, and weird, and I’ve heard sexual remarks as well.
UMMMM it’s not at all strange, there is a spiritual significance. South India weather-wise is HOT AS HELL since it is closer to the equator. Naturally, folks were used to wearing less clothing, there was nothing sexual about it, the weather was too HOT! Only when colonizers came with their puritan beliefs, they forced folks to cover up and body shamed them, blame colonizers!
South Indian Hindu priests don’t wear shirts because the spiritual significance is that they are “servants of God” removing their shirts as servants did in ancient times. North Indian Priests do wear shirts because it’s COLD in the North and they would freeze their asses off if they took their shirts off!
I love that South Indian Hindu priests LET IT ALL HANG OUT! They don’t care and are not body-obsessed or image-obsessed like the Western world is with print and social media ads of super toned, fit, six-pack ab models and stuff. It’s amazing to me how differently the eastern and western worlds think!
I have a friend who volunteers at the Temple, he’s a HAWT young man who goes to the gym regularly but is SUPER EMBARRASSED to take his shirt off (he does at times when he takes part in certain rituals but always fidgeting trying to cover up) because he’s born and raised in the USA he’s so shy and raised with that mentality of “body perfection”
I love to tease him “Oh Honey, take it off, at least you got something to see, instead of all these uncle guts” LOL - He definitely wants to kick my ass LOL - plus you can see all his tattoos from drunken nights out LOL
The elaborate rituals, practices, and decorations of a Hindu Temple are to be admired and appreciated. I hope someday more folks will explain the significance behind each practice and more folks will gain a better understanding and appreciation of Hindu Temples! Please take the time to see each video I tried to capture as many of the rituals as I could (no filming/photos inside temples) just the outside!